Bad hand dryers are my main pet peeve. I'm all for eco-friendliness, but there are few things more irritating in the world than washing your hands in a public washroom and then spending five minutes trying to dry them (and failing to do so) under a hand dryer that has the equivalent force of a ninety-year-old blowing out a birthday cake.

That's why the hand dryer in the washroom at Tortilla Flats is literally the best thing that happened to me all week. Look what it's doing to my hands! Those aren't wrinkles, my friends; that's skin being pushed by the sheer force of the air current coming out of this jet-turbine-strength hand dryer.

The noise this sucker makes is so enormous that it's possible the water wasn't dried off my hands, but rather scared off my hands.

Award for worst hand dryer in the city, incidentally, goes to the pair of useless gizmos in the mens' room at the Paramount at Richmond and John. I can - and have - dried my hands faster by holding them out in the sun.

Tortilla Flats and its awesome hand dryer are located at 458 Queen Street West, at Queen and Augusta, across from a KFC whose hand dryer has yet to be tested.